Getting dan to attempt using the oven is a finely balanced art of pretending that it’s exactly the same as using a frying pan on a stove; but also knowing the oven is an off limits big f-off scary white thing that svend once told us to keep clean.

Svends problem: we’d already signed the lease so no one listened to him.

Dans problem: 10 hungry bellies, 7 kegs of belly and nerves of jelly.

Dans other problem: he needed to also cook two side dishes. But he had a plan.

The guests were set to arrive in 4 hours and they would be the hungriest invitees. They’d also have an armory of good tunes. And some really bad tunes that we wish they didn’t make us sit through.

the honour roll

Attention should be drawn to the honour roll for two main reasons this week. First, the ordering of h.o.s. almost caused a mexican standoff. Which is definitely the last thing you want between h.o.s.

Also, there was a new appearance on the list. Those with good eyesight (or expensive beeno’s) would be able to detect the anomaly.

In order, the playlists were:

Renee’s Playlist -

To be supplied.

Leana’s List -

1. Feedback (Janette Jackson)
2. Halo (Beyonce)
3. Hush Hush (Pussycat dolls )
4. Iris (Goo goo dolls)
5. One step at a time (Jordin Sparks)
6. Release (Timbaland)
7. Remix of Omarion (Icebox) and Eurythmics (Sweet dreams)

Ben’s Playlist -

1. Bitter sweet symphony (The Verve)
2. Surface to air (Chemical Brothers)
3. Frontier Psychiatrist (The Avalanches)
4. The Sound of Silence (Simon and Garfunkel)
5. Short Skirt, Long Jacket (Cake)
6. The Sentinal (Hill Top Hoods)
7. Homesick (Kings of Convenience)

Emily’s Playlist -

1. do your thing – basement jaxx
2. love foolosophy – jamiroquai
3. apertura – gustavo santaolalla (motorcycle diaries ST)
4. yellow – cold play
5. the staunton lick – lemon jelly
6. must be dreaming – frou frou
7. zambita – gustavo santaolalla

The thorn amongst the roses:

Also, a mysterious character known only by the codename of “Mr V.” was in attendance. And he sung a playlist calculated to scare and alarm.

Mr V’s Playlist Seven Songs of Spent Stars -

1. Workin’ Day and Night – Michael Jackson
2. Little Wing – Jimi Hendrix
3. Elvis Presley – Burning Love
4. Marvin Gaye – What’s Going On
5. Barry White – You’re the First, the Last, my Everything
6. Bob Marley – Jamming
7. Edith Piaf – Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien

Frightened of the unknown unknowable power of Mr V, all the guests and the housemates just sat and stared and didn’t say very much. And then Mr V. unleashed some fury, in the form of:

(a) “I don’t stay over there when h– p—— are there. There’s no point”

(b) “You need to be on p—- to appreciate this”

(c) “If you do put me on the blog dont mention the word Mr V because she googles my name”

(d) “I prefer being alone”

(e) “a good g—- girl always has a soft spot for the guy who broke her in”.

The first course was straight out of a modern Japanese Karate film like Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai. With more authenticity than Jack Black in Kung Fu Panda. Tidier than Megan Fox in Transformers. And smelling just as good as the back of Vincent Vega and Jules Winnfield’s car after the Marvin incident. Pre-Winston Wolfe. Don’t even mention the gimp.

[no pics but just imagine a kick ass okonomiyaki]

Then dan brought out the the big guns. Jamie Oliver style:

Belly by Oliver

And then dan took to putting a lot of meat into the oven. And what seemed like minutes later 4kgs of beautifully cooked belly emerged. But how?

dinner

 The standard procedure was followed.

carve that

slice that

serve that out

eat and be merry

do things with your mouth

Then steevie cooked a great Moroccan Nut Cake.

Moroccan Nut Cake

Tasty

But one thing nearly eluded us. How had Dan cooked the dinner and the sides so quickly and so well and with so little stress? and using an oven?

Answer: he hadn’t. Lozza pulled it all together at the end. Great job Lozza. Dano just took the credit.

tried to take all the credit - and almost got away with it

The vital stats.

It's already decided

Name : Dano

Likes : Chasing Tail

Dislikes : Those who don’t chase tail, those who unncessarily hang by the heater, son of’s, if someone gets his name wrong. Consistently.

Tagline : First in best dressed

Favourite clothing chain to be dressed in : Topman

Long live dano!

What Sing For Your Supper will look like if Poly doesn't get back soon

The team became a crew of a ship on sing for your supper three. With the addition of three old friends: Kay, Ian and Maurice and 2 h.o.s we sailed into an evening fit for a captain. Or a cruiseship cabaret performer.

It was rough at sea so we made lots of hand signals

a good hand signal wards off scurvy...

...A bad one and you're walking the plank

Entree – The seven types of tapas which almost sunk the good ship:

1. Salted Almonds;

2. Anchovies;

3. Mushrooms;

4. Mule Drivers’ Cod; 

5. Chorizo (Lozza stayed cause we had Chorizo);

6. Prawns;

7. Bruschetta; and

8. the honourary eighth liquid tapas: Quilmes Argintinean beer (good call steve; great driving around most of sydney to locate moe)

According to myth and ledgend the common reasons a boat might sink at sea are:

Low transoms; Missing drain plugs; Cooling system leaks; and Navigation error. To this list one should add: making seven types of tapas and drinking some beer.

When we increased the transom height and bailed out all the water we were treated to a leg of lamb fit for six kings and two queens. It was accompanied by a salad of tomato and bocconcini and some rice.

And to top it all off, a great rhubarb crumble for dessert. (both main and dessert courtesy of Steve, thanks mate!)

As all good crew do, we sung as we sailed and we drank as we sung. And later we would pass out as we sung.

Kay sang:

Micheal Jackson – remember the time

Arrested Development – people everyday

Mighty Mighty Bosstones – the impression that i get

Run-DMC / Jason Nevis – it’s like that

Regurgitator – my polyester girl

Shaggy – boombastic

Oasis – don’t look back in anger

Fooey sang:

2Pac – if my homie calls

Mario Winans – i don’t want to know

Junior M.A.F.I.A – get money

Tyrese – just a baby boy (with snoop dog feat mr tan)

?

2Pac – thugz mansion

?Eightball – my homeboy’s girlfriend

 Mo kept his dulcet tones under wraps. 

The sense of good fortune that only strikes an able seaman on approaching a port in a heavy storm filled the entire crew as we pronounced sing for your supper three a successful voyage.

The happiest sailor was Dan. Who didn’t invite any guests or make any of the dinner.

A substandard hand signal and no food or guests = walk the plank

His crime: a side of polenta boiled, fried and served.

Step two: fried squares

The fitting punishment: an unwelcome reminder of soggy school sandwiches when the lunchbox lid popped off. Every textbook and exercise book and your only porno in the whole world sodden with tomatoey moisture.

Lesson learned: stick to what you know – the creamy mushroom sauce was a hit.

step three: serve. And then cry.

Easy.

Invite a bunch of workmates over on a school night, looking for a place to migrate to after the closing of the Clock Hotel. Add a liberal serve of alcohol, allow to simmer with karaoke til 2am, and don’t forget to allow for room invasions, targeted shoe throwing and bed breaking. Leave on high heat then cool suddenly. Big serve recommended. Sorry Steve. Sorry Poly. Thanks for partying on Bobs.

All is forgiven. And clearly by the Friday night after, also forgotten. Post-Dolphin after-party aside, does anyone know where this bra came from?

A hanging testament to human folly and the dangers of inviting the entire pub back to your place

Singing tonight...

Singing for their supper, 5 July: Maelle the Frenchie, Kate Heart Ice Cream, Ishmun plus Loz and Alice

29richards was a good man down this week. A great man. Stresses and disasters happened and the usually relaxed household at 29richards was thrown into disarray hosting SFYS 2. And then the guests arrived.

And what guests they were. One would say, the best second sing for your supper guests. Or maybe the second sing for your supper best guests? Or neither.

The things that we learnt were:

1. Australians are (proudly) rude.

2. The Dit had a gusset.

3. DJ Lish has more CDs in his car than exist elsewhere.

4. Girls dig lychees, especially muddled with limes and combined with vodka

5. Al has a lizard tongue

6. Certain words do not easily translate into french. Especially ‘gunt’.

7. We’re only inviting lesbians from now on. Or blokes who punch above their weight.

8. Pussy whipping your mate’s girlfriend whilst cleaning up results in getting kicked out of the house.

9. If you can’t match it with the Loz in the clean up kitchen, you’re a soft c-bomb.

10. We need poly back.

Tucking in

White choc + microwave = smokey house

 

On the dinner table:

Cocktails: Sing-Song Ping Pongs and Moscow Mules

Steamed roast duck pancakes with sweet soy sauce

Green curry prawns with grilled scallop betel leaf salad

Take 1 (smokey burnt): White chocolate cheesecake

Take 2 (oops not enough ingredients): White chocolate cheesecake pancake

Take 3 (improvised heaven): White chocolate cheesecake cupcakes with strawberries 

Cheese and more wine

 

Once the smoke cleared, Steve whipped up a mean dessert

 

Obligatory messy kitchen shot

Kate Heart Ice Cream playlist

 

If I ever feel better

Run run run

One pure thought

L.E.S Artistes

If I know you

Heart beats

On call

 

DJ Lish’s playlist of pure metal

 

Breathing – Kate Bush

(By popular demand) Wuthering Heights

Coil – Opeth

Burden – Opeth

And we Die Young – Alice in Chains

Fear of a Blank Planet – Porcupine Tree

Lest We Forget – The Waifs

 

Maelle’s playlist for rude Australians

 

Good luck – Basement Jaxx

Still Ray – Raphael Saadiq

Jalouse – Mademoiselle K

Muscle Museum – Muse

American Boy – Estelle

Begging you – Madcon

Hymne a l’Amout – Edith Piaf

Obsession – Aventura

Maelle learnt a new word tonight

Bobby's curry was not bad

"Here is your duck sir"

29richards ventured to the elegant setting of the Chinese Cultural Club for a post-hangover Saturday morning yum cha feast. Hard to say no when $2 annual membership buys you 10% off all cha. But we got more than we bargained for when we asked the kitchen if they had any duck…

Surprise!

Who dares wins, Stevie

Our cupboards are bare...

21 June Supper Singers: Evan & Mel, Matt C, Mel B

 The first supper highlights – Hanson’s Mmm Bop, debating the merits of ironing sheets, reliving nude Top Gun escapades, and discussing the symbolism of phallic butter sculptures. And waking up with a concrete head.

On the dinner table:

Thai fish cakes with sweet sauce

Moroccan chicken pie
Roast eggplant & pumpkin salad
Zucchini, dill & fetta pie

Strawberry Eton Mallow

Cheese and port

Mel B’s playlist:

naive – the kooks
young folks – peter bjorn and john
paper aeroplane – angus and julia stone
heartbeats – jose gonzalez
half the world away – oasis
im yours - jason mraz
the scientist - coldplay

Matt’s playlist (1):

Matt’s encore playlist (2)

Evan’s playlist:

Mel’s playlist (minus 1):

Jack Johnson & Zach Gill – Girl I wanna lay you down (live)
Van Morrison – Domino
Hanson – mmmbop
The Kooks – seaside
Jackson 5 – ABC
John Mayer – Daughters